Thinking About Your Thinking: Understanding Irrational Thoughts and Finding Freedom Through Truth
An introduction to rational self-analysis, emotional awareness, and taking every thought captive
One of the most important conversations we can have is the conversation we have with ourselves.
Every day, we interpret events, assign meaning to what happens around us, experience emotions, and respond through our actions. Most of the time this process happens so quickly that we do not even realize it is happening.
But what if the way we think is actually shaping the way we live?
What if some of the struggles we experience in our relationships, emotions, and spiritual growth are connected to patterns of thinking that we have never stopped to examine?
This is the foundation of understanding irrational thinking.
In this episode of Form: A Counseling Podcast, Devin Leitch sits down again with longtime counselor, mentor, and friend Rick Dooley to introduce the concept of irrational thinking, how it affects our relationships, and how we can begin the process of bringing our thoughts into the light.
All Actions Are Goal Directed
One of the foundational ideas behind this discussion is simple:
All actions are goal directed.
Everything we do has a purpose behind it.
Sometimes that purpose is obvious. Sometimes it is hidden beneath the surface.
For example, someone may say:
“I just want to help people.”
That may be completely true. But there may also be deeper motivations underneath:
“I want people to like me.”
“I want to feel valuable.”
“I want to avoid rejection.”
“I want to prove myself.”
The goal is not to assume bad motives. The goal is to become aware of what is actually driving us.
As Devin explains, this connects deeply with the biblical concept of bringing hidden things into the light:
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will control your life and you will call it fate.”
— Carl Jung
While Jung’s worldview is different from a biblical worldview, the principle points toward something Scripture also emphasizes: the importance of examining our hearts and taking our thoughts captive.
We cannot change what we refuse to see.
The Connection Between Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions
One of the biggest misunderstandings people have about emotions is that emotions simply happen.
While emotions often feel immediate and automatic, they are connected to the way we interpret what is happening around us.
Rick explains:
“Emotions don’t just happen. Behaviors don’t just happen. They are precipitated by a thought.”
A simple way to understand this is:
Event → Thought → Feeling → Action
Something happens.
We interpret what happened.
That interpretation creates an emotional response.
That emotion influences how we respond.
For example:
Event:
Someone does not respond to your text message.
Thought #1:
“They must be upset with me.”
Feeling:
Anxiety, rejection, insecurity.
Action:
You withdraw, become defensive, or send an angry message.
But consider another interpretation:
Event:
Someone does not respond to your text message.
Thought #2:
“They may be busy. I do not know what is happening.”
Feeling:
Peace and patience.
Action:
You wait and respond appropriately.
The event did not change.
The interpretation changed.
Emotions Are Not the Enemy
A major point Rick emphasizes is that emotions themselves are not bad.
God created us as emotional beings.
The problem is not that we experience emotions.
The problem is when emotions control us without being examined.
Rick explains:
“There’s a difference between being skilled at being aware of your emotions and being able to manage them.”
Everyone experiences anger.
Everyone experiences fear.
Everyone experiences sadness.
The question is:
What do we do with those emotions?
Emotions are like an alarm system. They tell us something is happening internally.
But an alarm is not the same thing as a command.
A smoke detector tells you there may be danger.
It does not tell you to burn the house down.
The Danger of “If They Would Just…” Thinking
One of the most common irrational thoughts we experience is this:
“If they would just…”
“If they would just apologize…”
“If they would just understand…”
“If they would just change…”
“If they would just treat me differently…”
There may be truth behind our frustration. People really can hurt us. People really can act wrongly.
But when our emotional health, spiritual growth, or peace becomes dependent upon another person changing, we have placed control of our lives into someone else’s hands.
Rick explains:
“It puts somebody else in control of you.”
Biblically speaking, this challenges our responsibility before God.
We cannot control another person’s choices.
We can only take responsibility for our own thoughts, attitudes, and actions.
The Five Stages of Change
Before people can change, they usually move through stages of awareness.
Rick previously discussed what is often called the five stages of change:
1. Pre-contemplation
“I don’t have a problem.”
A person does not recognize anything needs to change.
2. Contemplation
“Maybe there is something I need to work on.”
Awareness begins.
3. Preparation
“I want to do something different.”
The person begins planning change.
4. Action
“I am actively practicing something new.”
Change becomes intentional.
5. Maintenance
“I am continuing this new pattern.”
Growth becomes a lifestyle.
The important thing is that change begins with awareness.
If we do not recognize a problem, we cannot address it.
Introducing Rational Self-Analysis
Rick introduces a tool called Rational Self-Analysis, which comes from cognitive and rational-emotive behavioral approaches.
The purpose is simple:
To slow down the process and examine what is happening inside us.
The process follows the ABC model:
A — Activating Event
What happened?
This is the observable event.
Example:
“My spouse criticized my decision.”
B — Beliefs or Thoughts
What did I tell myself about what happened?
Example:
“They never respect me.”
“They always criticize me.”
“I can never do anything right.”
This is where irrational thinking often appears.
C — Consequences
What happened because of that thought?
This includes:
Feelings
Actions
Example:
Feeling:
Anger.
Action:
Yelling, withdrawing, or attacking.
The goal is not simply to identify feelings.
The goal is to identify the thoughts underneath those feelings.
Replacing Irrational Thoughts With Truth
For Christians, this process connects beautifully with Scripture.
Paul writes:
“We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
— 2 Corinthians 10:5
Taking thoughts captive means we do not simply accept every thought that enters our minds as true.
We examine them.
We compare them with reality.
We compare them with God’s truth.
The goal is not positive thinking.
The goal is truthful thinking.
Sometimes irrational thinking says:
“I am worthless.”
The truth says:
“I am created in the image of God and my identity is found in Christ.”
Sometimes irrational thinking says:
“Everyone must approve of me.”
The truth says:
“My ultimate approval comes from God.”
Sometimes irrational thinking says:
“I cannot change.”
The truth says:
“God is actively sanctifying me and producing growth in me.”
The Christian Advantage in Emotional Growth
One of the most encouraging points from this conversation is that believers are not attempting change alone.
For Christians, growth is not simply about trying harder.
We have the Holy Spirit working within us.
The fruit of the Spirit includes:
Self-control
Patience
Kindness
Gentleness
Faithfulness
These are qualities directly connected to emotional maturity and healthy relationships.
If someone without Christ can learn tools for awareness and change, how much more can a believer, empowered by the Spirit of God, pursue transformation?
The First Step: Become Aware
The journey begins by asking:
What am I thinking?
Not just:
“What am I feeling?”
Not just:
“What did they do?”
But:
“What interpretation am I placing on this situation?”
“What belief is driving my response?”
“What goal am I really pursuing?”
The goal is not self-condemnation.
The goal is self-awareness.
Because what we bring into the light can be transformed.
Practical Reflection Questions
Take some time this week and ask:
What situations repeatedly create strong emotional reactions in me?
What thoughts usually appear right before those emotions?
Are those thoughts true, or are they assumptions?
What goal am I pursuing through my response?
How would God’s truth reshape the way I think and respond?
Growth begins when we are willing to examine not only what we do, but why we do it.
Form: A Counseling Podcast is designed to help people think deeply about counseling, relationships, emotional health, and spiritual growth. To learn more or listen to future episodes, visit Form Counseling Ministry.
