Why Are We Choosing Therapy Instead of The Church?
Recently, a TGC article written by Laura Kleinschmidt asked the question “Why are Women choosing therapy over the church?” Her argument was that a lack of understanding the important doctrine of Corem Deo (living before the face of God) was at the heart of this poor decision making, followed by a misunderstanding of what the church is supposed to do. Laura and I agree on a problem - but not the solution.
Before you continue reading I want to clarify that I define the church as the group of saved believers that Christ has purchased through His death and resurrection. And want to be very clear that Christ, and the Spirit are not weak. They are not incompetent. And they will (and have) accomplished the purpose determined from before creation. God is sovereign and His will will be accomplished. The negativity with which I speak is about the people, who tainted by sin, fall short in accomplishing a necessary aspect of ministry and therefore have failed others in need. So when I say the church is incompetent - I mean us, the church. Not Christ, not the Spirit, not the Word - us. And not all local churches, but as an overall statement considering the amount of local churches and wealth of resources we, in the US, have access to.
We primarily choose things because someone we trusted told us it would work.
The article states: “Our doctrine of man determines whom we choose for help when we are in trouble..”
While I firmly believe in the doctrine of Coram Deo—the conviction that every action, thought, and moment of life is lived in the presence of God and for His glory—it does not necessarily follow that this doctrine dictates from whom an individual seeks comfort or counsel in times of distress. Coram Deo should shape the way we live, reminding us that our ultimate accountability and purpose are found in God Himself, yet it is not prescriptive. The specific and practical resources that would help a person determine whom they should trust for help does not naturally pour out of this doctrine. We all struggle to connect doctrine to life and it takes practice and discernment to do so well. Further, a strong view of this doctrine doesn’t translate into trusting the church and its staff over a therapist. It isn’t obvious that a right view of Coram Deo would keep people (specifically women) from choosing therapy. It could be just as well that those with a clear view of the doctrine often choose therapy more often as it results in their living to be far more consistent with the doctrine. Yes, people don’t see this doctrine accurately and need to realize that their entire life belongs to God. However, the decision to go to therapy instead of ‘church people’ doesn’t have to do with the doctrine of Coram Deo — That decision, (whether it be unfortunate or not), is made from the doctrine of pragmatism.
Pragmatism is an approach that assesses the truth of theories or beliefs in terms of the success of their practical application. In the same way someone may turn to a trusted friend, mentor, or a family member, people (and in this case specifically women) are turning to therapy. Not because of their understanding of a sophisticated doctrine or even an understanding of simple doctrine learned as a coincidence. They are going to therapy because someone they trusted told them it would work.
The church has lost its competency to counsel.
Laura Writes that “Our secular therapeutic culture communicates a godless alternative to coram Deo: living in the presence of a therapist, under the authority of that therapist, to feel better and be a healthier you. What dominates our culture tends to seep into the church, and as therapy is increasingly emphasized, our church members may further progress to view themselves in this way…”
Whereas I appreciate the warning that we can fall into secular thinking too easily and in ways we are not aware of, the argument implies — is predicated on the idea — that the church is competent. It is not. Without even mentioning the damning report about the abuse within the SBC that came out a few years ago, the local church is not often a place where thinking and confronting our individual issues are welcomed. Competency is defined by character, maturity, skill, knowledge, discernment and judgment. The local church is too often seen in the public square as a critical place that promotes a righteous outward behavior that is often not inwardly desired. Let’s be honest, we are all Pharisees at heart. Alternatively, therapy can allow you to speak, think, be vulnerable, and confess without the residual skepticism that often follows in the local church culture. A therapist isn’t watching to catch you failing. A paid therapist is just that — paid. Paid to listen, paid to guide without seeking control, and paid to let you leave without continuously bringing up your embarrassing thoughts and shameful feelings. This is not the choice of people (especially women) because of their wrong doctrine, or wrong doctrine that is seeping into the church. This is the result of the church failing to counsel well, lead well, and remain an unshakeable group of people who support and love each other selflessly. This is a practical issue that requires us as the church to be full of grace and to work hard in the Word and in understanding to be able to handle the weight of others’ lives in a careful and strategic way. The church at its best would eliminate therapy altogether. So the fact that is hasn’t and it seems to be losing more and more people to secular therapy is a witness to something. Something wrong - that I do not want to describe in detail here.
Secondarily, to the state of the church being weak and incompetent to counsel, We need not blame shift as Christians. It isn’t the culture’s fault, or the enemy’s fault that we have bad counselors, bad pastors, unhealthy churches, and un-dealt-with sin in our midst. It isn’t the culture’s fault that we do not train pastors well (or treat pastors well) and that often those who are treated well squander the opportunities to grow in their abilities. It’s not the fault of people out there. We do not have our own house in order and therefore we (our brothers and sisters in Christ) do not keep out the bad guys. We do not know what to do with complex situations and as a whole, we are not trained in helping people. We Christians regularly sound the warning of cultural temptations and evils, but it is too often at the expense of ignoring our own weaknesses and need of transformation. We take stands on the battlefront of the public square and make our opinions known but ignore the suffering and weaknesses of the individuals in our midst. As the late great John MacArthur once stated, “we mourn more over the empty pews than the filled ones.”
Christ is building His church and I believe it ultimately will not fail, but I tremble at the thought of His judgment on those of us He has entrusted to watch it and keep it. May God have mercy on us.
A final thought: Come, let us not be hypocrites.
Laura states: “…engaging with ministry partners such as counselors and psychiatrists, those our members are already seeing and those with whom we hope to coordinate care.”
It is a pet peeve of mine (and an admitted anecdotal experience) that after a conversation about the dangers and evils of secular therapy, some will then say something to the affect of “only use them if you need them.” This totally invalidates every critique of secular therapy as it basically indicates that there is an emotional reaction to all therapists when actually it is just a few bad ones. That same argument could be made for pastors, doctors, and Walmart employees. There are some bad ones everywhere. Either secular therapy is bad, or it serves some purpose somewhere with some people. It cannot be totally bad and sometimes useable.
Over all I think Laura’s argument is “don’t JUST go to a therapist and give the church a try.” The problem with this; the church is weak and incompetent right now. Not all churches and definitely not Christ. Not the Spirit of God, and not the Word of God. In general a large amount of local churches fail. They are ill equipped for the task at hand. They have proven that and they are not showing tremendous signs of improvement.
We can not blame culture for our failure and we cannot blame the enemy (Satan) for our idleness and incompetence. We also cannot blame all therapist for being anti-God anti-Christ and harmful to God’s people and then indicate that sometimes, when the situation is difficult or complex, we can go see one.
We at Form Counseling hope to be a positive change. We want to provide Christian counseling that bridges a gap between the church and secular therapy. Uniting competent, qualified, doctrinally sound, theologically precise, psychological informed counselors Form Counseling is committed to counseling that exalts Christ without ignoring the practical aspects of life in a fallen world.
